English teacher arrested for offering private lessons

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Following a tip from an anonymous citizen, police arrested an unnamed foreign English teacher in the Gangnam area coffeeshop, sitting next to a Korean woman. The teacher and student were spotted in a local coffeeshop with a notebook and electronic dictionary on the table. “We’re not precisely sure if there was actually any teaching going on, or if it was just a date,” one Seoul police officer stated. “Whatever it was, it sure looked like teaching to me. It had to be stopped.”

“They’ve been two of my best customers for months,” the coffeeshop manager said. “When ten police officers stormed through the front doors I assumed they got a tip about a murderer or rapist. Instead, they just wanted this guy.”

The student, a 23-year-old Korean woman, was shocked. “I had no idea he was wanted for… what was he wanted for again? Teaching private lessons? Oh…”, as she trailed off and snuck out the back door.

Following a tip from an anonymous citizen, police arrested an unnamed foreign English teacher in the Gangnam area coffeeshop, sitting next to a Korean woman. The teacher and student were spotted in a local coffeeshop with a notebook and electronic dictionary on the table. “We’re not precisely sure if there was actually any teaching going on, or if it was just a date,” one Seoul police officer stated. “Whatever it was, it sure looked like teaching to me. It had to be stopped.”

“They’ve been two of my best customers for months,” the coffeeshop manager said. “When ten police officers stormed through the front doors I assumed they got a tip about a murderer or rapist. Instead, they just wanted this guy.”

The student, a 23-year-old Korean woman, was shocked. “I had no idea he was wanted for… what was he wanted for again? Teaching private lessons? Oh…”, as she trailed off and snuck out the back door.

One eyewitness reported the foreign English teacher was frog-marched down Gangnamdaero, past the bootleg DVD seller, the kissing rooms, an ajumma handing out flyers at the subway entrance, and a drunk ajosshi fondling a middle school girl.

No charges have been filed, partly because the Gangnam police hasn’t officially read the suspect his rights yet. “We’d bring in an outside translator, but all the best ones are English teachers,” admitted one of the arresting officers.

There was a silver lining to the story, however. With one phone call, the suspect managed to call a lawyer, who arrived at the Gangnam police station only minutes later. According to a suspect in another holding cell, the unnamed lawyer berated the police officers until they came and set the teacher free. “I’ve kept a lawyer on retainer since my first hagwon job,” the teacher said, using the Korean word for a private English academy. The two were last seen jumping into a taxi apparently headed towards downtown Seoul, with the teacher screaming “I’m late for my next class!” out the window.

This is satire. It’s completely made up. It’s not real. Laugh. Don’t drink and walk. That is all.

Creative Commons License © Chris Backe – 2010

This post was originally published on my blog, Chris in South Korea. If you are reading this on another website and there is no linkback or credit given, you are reading an UNAUTHORIZED FEED.



2 thoughts on “English teacher arrested for offering private lessons”

  1. Now we are getting somewhere!

    Now we are getting somewhere! and that’s exactly how many of us feel/ have felt in the past. It’s like that old Rockwell song ‘somebodys watching me’. E2 people be careful, F visa people carry your ARC card with you or a photocopy of it.

    Reply
  2. Ridiculus

    Crazy article. People have been getting busted for years. This is nothing new.

    Yes it is ridiculus in that prostitution is illegal here yet cops do nothing but a person teaching in a coffee shop cops come guns blazing. Korean peeps really need to look in the mirror more. There are many worse problems here than someone trying to learn a second language. Picking and choosing things because they are easy targets is pretty cowardly.

    And on the flip side, why is this guy teaching in a coffee shop..IDIOT! Of course the woman runs away instead of saying, "we are friends!" Then, nothing could or would happen. Koreans are your best friends-until they must choose between Korea, themselves and you. We are nothing to them. Second class citizens-even though we come from first world countries but oh well. Long live Kim Jong Il and the tunnel like focus!!!

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