Unsolicited fanmail

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I hesitate to share private messages, but this is my blog and this blog is about my life. I have edited out the name as best as possible. If the individual finds this post and asks me to take down this post, I will.

Sometimes I receive what I refer to as “unsolicited fanmail” on social media. I am not talking about kind messages or constructive criticism from strangers. Those I welcome, because I think the world is full of kind people I have yet to meet and the internet helps connect me with those wonderful people. When I talk about “unsolicited fanmail,” I mean unwelcome messages from people that use social media to be put me down or be creepy.

I hesitate to share private messages, but this is my blog and this blog is about my life. I have edited out the name as best as possible. If the individual finds this post and asks me to take down this post, I will.

Sometimes I receive what I refer to as “unsolicited fanmail” on social media. I am not talking about kind messages or constructive criticism from strangers. Those I welcome, because I think the world is full of kind people I have yet to meet and the internet helps connect me with those wonderful people. When I talk about “unsolicited fanmail,” I mean unwelcome messages from people that use social media to be put me down or be creepy.

I share this private message, because it is so similar to my least favorite (yet sadly, most common) pick-up from Korean men. In my experience, many come on really strong and are often a bit creepy. I’m not sure if it’s a language barrier or the culture, but I am often left confused and/or unhappy with interactions of this nature.

Anyway, here’s a bit of our messaging:

Let me quickly list three problems with this dude’s pick-up. Maybe this will help some of you in the future.

1. Don’t barrage me with messages. When I didn’t respond quickly to his messages, he sent more, and they continued to get creepier and meaner. If you want to ask me out, ask me out once. The clearer the better, thanks.

2. Don’t ask me to buy you things. I’m really fair about paying for my own things, but asking me to pay for you outright the first time we hang out? That’s classless. I would say that to girls doing the same thing.

3. No means no. Persistence gets you nothing if the person isn’t interested.



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