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Korean Charades
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by
Susan Logan
Last week was good but tiring after
moving a couple of kilometers away into a high rise apartment
building. We will miss some of the conveniences of our old neighborhood
but not the tiny ecosystem of spiders, cockroaches, mosquitoes
and mold that we shared our apartment with. I'll miss the fruit
stand owner that we'd come to know a little. She understood my
charades perfectly. Usually the fruit vendors won't sell anything
less than a kilogram so you can't really buy just one tomato,
you have to buy a half dozen or so. On my first visit to the fruit
stand I was able to use my excellent communication skills to tell
her that I like tomatoes but Brian doesn't and thus,
we want only one tomato.
1)Point
to tomato and indicate you want only one by using the pointing
finger to become "#1" as you now hold it erect
2)Point
to your tummy
3)Smile,
rub tummy in circles and go "mmmmmm"
4)Hold
hand high above your head to indicate height of spouse and say
the only Korean word you can remember today, "Nam-pyon"(husband)
5)Now
quickly point to the tomato again
6)Now
shake your head side to side and say, "No..no...no...no". Remember:
it is important not to appear angry.
Trouble-shooting
If the above steps don’t succeed in acquiring a solo tomato you must diagnose the communication break down. Did the fruit vendor understand the relationship of the tomato to your spouse? Try alternating Steps 4 and 5 over and over until the vendor understands. Be patient, and remember to smile so at the very least she/he will think you are stupid but nice. Did the vendor know why you were telling the tomato, "No"? Go back to Step 6. Now point inside your mouth to indicate induced vomiting, as you say, "No". Now repeat Steps 4 through 6. At any time during Step 6 you may point to your tummy, make a yucky, frown face as you slowly and sadly repeat while shaking your head, "Nam-pyon...Nam-pyon" . If all attempts at communication fail, purchase one kilo of tomatoes. Put one tomato in the crisper drawer of your refrigerator and give the rest to your grateful, if not totally baffled, Korean next-door neighbor who speaks absolutely no English. *Note: My husband has just returned from his first visit to the fruit vendor nearest our new apartment. Unfortunately his skills however adequate are not at the same level as mine. He completely disregarded all steps accept Step 1! After several minutes of holding up his pointer-finger and saying "one...one" the woman handed him eight tomatoes and a bag of tangerines before he would leave. Archaic as his methods are we will now have tangerines for the week and several happy neighbors. **Note: Several days ago my husband proudly proclaimed, “Well, I just spoke to the milk-lady…We will now have our milk DELIVERED!” Unfortunately he used his preferred method as described above. Yes, we now have milk delivered. One liter, every day. We are currently the owners of five cartons of milk. I hope our neighbors aren’t lactose intolerant. |
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