By no stretch of the imagination am I a health nut. I once lived on fish tacos and Coca-cola for two weeks when my husband went out of town. I do however, have a running habit that's been hard to shake for the past 8 or so years. Before moving to Korea I asked a friend if it would be safe for me to run here. She said safety was not an issue, "But everyone will stare at you. They'll think you're crazy".

This was all the encouragement I needed.

Within a week of my arrival I joined a gym and found a good jogging path. Since then, I have witnessed some very strange phenomena in the Korean exercise world. I have attempted to describe and categorize some of these occurrences in the following passage. This list is not intended to be an all-inclusive list. I am certain that dozens of weird exercises exist, unbeknownst to me in various forms here in the ROK.  I am certain, however, that the exerciser will be found wearing some type of synthetic blend sweat suit regardless of the temperature.

Homo sapien koreanensis As observed on Dong Bek Island

Dong Bek Island is met by a bridge that adjoins it to The Westin Chosun Hotel on Hae Un Dae beach. The 1km long paved track that circles the tiny island is marked every 100 meters and for this reason it remains the most popular area to walk or jog in Hae Un Dae. As you begin the short walk from the hotel to the island you will notice a very large enclosure.  It is furnished with large feeding troughs and house-like structures to protect its inhabitants from the elements. The area (about the size of a football field) is surrounded by a 1-meter high fence. It took some time to realize what type of animal was housed there. Then I saw the bunny. Big floppy ears, big fuzzy feet, eating some lettuce. What has this got to do with exercise? Nothing. Why the mini Bunny Zoo? I have no idea.

After several minutes, I closed my mouth and made my way uphill to the Island track. There were dozens of sweat-suited runners making their way around this very scenic track, bunnies on one side, pink flowered shrubs on the other. Most of the joggers appeared to be male and around 50 years old, though I cannot be certain of this. Because most of the adult population appears much younger than their true age and because they are considered 1 year old on the day of their birth (and then gain another year each January 1^st), you must do a complex mathematical equation in order to reach the real age of any Korean.

It didn't take long to find a subject exhibiting an exercise technique that would be considered unusual by Western standards. Though he appeared to be middle-aged like most of the other joggers, my careful calculations told me that this man was exactly 75 years old. Unlike the rest of the joggers, this man was jogging backwards.  As he jogged steadily up the hill (backwards) he held his arms high over his head, while his loosely held fists allowed both index fingers to point upwards as he made little stabs towards the sky in time with his foot steps. A little too, Saturday Night Fever for me. As I passed him (forward) I checked the old guy out. Nice calves! I couldn't help but imagine what The Backward Hustle could do for my big butt.

Another man was near the rails guarding us from the rabbits. He held his arms out straight over his head and then bent at the waist to make a 90-degree angle. Quickly he straightened himself out, still reaching for the sky. He continued to do this rhythmically, looking like one of those little toy birds that "drinks" from a glass. I was beginning to get nauseous and was forced to look away.

Feeling exhausted after the run to the island and then a few laps, I was ready to head home. Despite my disappointment and the 45-year difference in our ages, I was unable to pass Backward Calf man a second time. As if she read my mind, I heard a woman on the side of the track clapping for me! The ajuma stood perfectly erect in her Nike sweat suit and firmly clapped her gloved hands together in a steady rhythm.  It was just like the 10K runs and marathons back home…a complete stranger who knew the highs and lows every runner feels at the end of the race…she understood what I was going through…she knew I needed her support…she wanted to cheer me through my final, victorious lap. I looked at her as I shuffled pass so I could give her a grateful smile and wave. She did not look at me. She did not stop clapping after I passed her. She didn’t Know, Understand or Cheer me. She was exercising.

Homo sapien ajumaensis

            The "ajuma" is a married Korean woman whose powers and skills are unlike any other woman on Earth. Though many ajumas' do not work out side of the home, the work her husband does at his office often pales in comparison to the work done at home, seven days a week. She does not "bring home the bacon" so to speak, rather, her husband may ask her at 2 a.m. to prepare some bacon as he and his four drunken buddies sway in her kitchen after a night of heavy drinking.

            The ajuma is not able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, nor is she likely to claim that she still weighs the same 45 kg (90 pounds) as she did when she was first married (she may have plumped out to a hefty 115 pounds). However, even the untrained observer in the field   ( E-Mart ) will notice these ladies bustling about with a ten-pound watermelon in one hand, the sticky fist of a toddler in the other and a sleeping baby strapped onto her back, prepared to walk home with the trio. No, she can’t leap tall buildings but she can probably beat you up the stairs.

The Health Club

 After exerting himself for several minutes on a stationary bicycle, the Middle-Aged Korean man did the only logical thing to do. He stepped into the stairwell for a cigarette. I used to scoff at this practice but then I realized that the smoking-gym-men were the exception and not the norm. And back in the States, most smokers don't exercise at all, so at the very least, the lung-cancer sufferers in Korea are healthier than those in the U.S. Plus it is much easier to push that O2 tank around if you’re fit.

Although I cannot confirm it, I have been told of a muscle-head man that makes his way into the mens’ locker room once a week carrying a bucket filled with a dozen hard-boiled eggs. Much to the disgust of the other men, he peels and eats the eggs right there in the locker room. I was ready to request the installation of a cholesterol-reading machine next to the scale but then realized the Egg Man might be the same person as the Stairwell Smoker. Not wanting to perpetuate the weekly Bathroom Brunch nor the construction of a Cardio-Cancer Care wing of the nearby hospital, I rescinded my request. Perhaps an unexpected heart attack on the treadmill may be just the thing to turn my stairwell into a smoke-free zone.

Careful observations (and confirmation of my suspicions with a Korean friend), told me that Korean women believe that if you slap yourself, it will help you lose the fat in that area. I’ve seen women on the recumbent bicycles slapping the heck out of their tummies as they pedal-Ouch! During the Aerobic Class the instructor leads a round of intermittent yelling and stomach slapping as she bangs a couple of drum sticks together. Those ladies beat their shins, thighs and abdomens silly for 5 minutes, all the while yelling in unison with their leader. Still the ajuma pooch remains. However, she has no arm flab to speak of.

After exerting herself for several minutes on a stationary bicycle, the Middle-Aged Korean woman did the only logical thing to do. She stepped into a bathroom stall for a cigarette. Dressed in a matching Reebok sweat suit and headband the woman emerged from her private room, checked her make-up and headed back for a second Pedi-Slap session.

Conclusion

Knowing the work that the typical ajuma does on any given holiday one cannot help but wonder how do these “Super Women” do it? Can we shrug it off as genetics? Or could it be that the Korean lifestyle and exercise habits make an old woman able to climb a flight of stairs with a grandchild strapped to her back and 20 gallons of Kim Chee on her head?

If left to make conclusions at this point you may wonder what, if any, benefits are there to the above described methods. I've seen evidence that these methods, though strange to the foreign observer are both tried and true. However, please do not try any of these exercises at home. Unless your home is Korea, that is.

Still, my stories of 75 year-old Backward Boogie Jogging man and the Acrobatic Ajuma may not convince you of the physical superiority of the native Korean. It’s understandable if this anecdotal evidence doesn’t make you a believer. Just check the Race section of next Sports Illustrated you see and consider the recent victory of Korean, Lee Bong-Ju, winner of the 2001 Boston Marathon. After a 10 year jeopardy by Kenyan runners, Lee (who won an Olympic silver medal in Atlanta 1996) made his best effort and ran the race 24 seconds faster than the second-place finisher.

For some reason I doubt if anyone mocked his pre-race warm up doing the Macarena.