Unless I run across the sweetest, most perfect Korean woman, who- speaks English like a native, is well-educated, funny, fun to hang out with, likes techno, likes the beach, will make a good wife and mom, and is the most gorgeous things on earth (and at LEAST C cups)... I sincerely doubt that I am going to commit the club going, hookup party scene suicide of marriage by marrying a Korean. I just don't know if could put up with all the things that must be overcome to make a marriage like that work, and if she isn't perfect I am not willing to try. Then again, I guess that would go the same for any marriage, that is, if she isn't perfect and you aren't willing to try... don't do it.  So... I am fairly certain I am not getting involved seriously with anyone I date while I am here. I am also fairly certain that Ms. Right doesn't hang out at the Dallas Club or the Hollywood Star. Lastly, I am fairly certain that Ms. Right probably has a lot more Mr. Right's that she's more interested in. So, because of these things, I prefer to indulge myself during my time in Pusan by engaging in one of my favorite sports- "slut hunting."

   You won't be able to catch "slut hunting" on ESPN, KBS, or Star Sports. But if you go down to Somyon, T-Street, or the Dallas or any given weekend, you can catch one of the world's favorite sports live and in action. 

    One of my friends once said, (and I agreed with him in a big way) "When I first   got here, I thought I was some big player. I was meeting and going home with all these girls and stuff, then later it occurred to me, these girls that I hang out with are bigger players than me." He was referring to the Korean girls that typically hang out where expats hang out because they are looking to hook up with an expat. From this way-guk's point of view seems like there are 4 kinds of Korean women that float into the underworld subculture of us foreigners, and are extremely significant players in "slut hunting." So, in order from least respectable to most respectable, this is wannabe_baramdungi's *drum roll*...

1) Drinky girls (Juicey girls / hostesses / bitches)-   Now, pay attention genius... you know who you are! It is their JOB to be players and naturally they become some of the biggest and best liars on earth. I had the displeasure of being stupid enough twice to actually "date" two of these creatures. One of them was one of the most evil human beings I ever met in my life, almost certainly the "devil's concubine." YES, I AM bitter. It is funny how you kind of throw rational thought by the wayside when you are getting excellent blowjobs free of charge. I SUPPOSE there are a few (very few) exceptions... but trust me, you aren't dating any of them.

2) Prostitutes (whores / glass house girls)- I kind of feel bad for these miserable things, who knows what the hell happened in their life to get them there. They run these poor things through an assembly line of sucking and fucking on a nightly basis. It's fucking pathetic actually... I imagine they get some twisted little joy out of life by watching soap operas in their little glass cage between sessions. However, at least they sell an honest product and they are not going to tell you that you have to pay 10,000 won for a small glass of orange juice. Not that I endorse this sort of behavior though.

3) The GI's Girls (foreigner's chiqs / sluts / players / your buddy's ex-GF / your ex-GF)- Yah you know what I am talking about. I was talking about them earlier... they flock to the "Soul Trane", "Hollywood Star", and the "Dallas" every weekend. A few of these girls have probably banged entire platoons of American soldiers, and fucked the entire staff of some local university's English department. It's sometimes actually comical, especially if you ever get into a situation where you find out you and a friend of yours both banged the same girl recently and she's telling both of you that she loves you so much. Just arrange a date with her and bring your friend... enjoy the chaos that ensues... drink plenty of beer, you'll thank me later. Anyway- I better stop now... I am probably gonna get cursed out sometime in the near future when everyone starts figuring out who I am in real life... I know quite a few of you already know. Regardless, if and when I get cursed out by some vicious, drunk Korean girl that falls into this category (wouldn't be the first time) I'll just say something along the lines of, "come on... of course I wasn't talking about you." Since she has an over-active ego and a knack for justifying anything she does even though it's entirely fucked up or downright stupid, she will no doubt believe me.

4) Real Korean girls (normal people / girls that will usually flat out ignore you unless you get introduced through friends)- You usually have to know someone and get them to introduce you to this type of girl. Generally, it's not always easy for a foreigner to meet a real Korean girl. They are often times ashamed of their English, their family will often not approve, and it's probably going to be a while before she jumps in the sack with you. Granted this is something of a generalization... and of course there are exceptions. Regardless, if you are fortunate enough to get a Real Korean girl... treat her good and hang on to her, you are a lucky guy.

  So, there you have the key players in "slut hunting" on the Korean female side. We don't have to bother with the expat male side, because we all know who we are. Whether we are a bunch of GI's out for some fun, or some English teacher looking for some action, when out "slut hunting" most of us act exactly the same.

  All right... now for rules. There really aren't many rules to speak of so much... more of kind of common sense guidelines. Like for example, it would be kind of dumb to like try and score with the friend of the girl you've been sleeping with for the past few weeks. Oh, wait... sorry I forgot... unless we are talking about #4, that's fine too. I guess the only rules really are make sure that you don't spill your drink, dance like a fool, say to the girl you are trying to score with, "Hey didn't you sleep with some of my friends?" (Hahaha sorry man, I couldn't resist!), or otherwise do something so incredibly and outlandishly stupid that you just deserve to get smacked.

   So... what is "slut hunting" exactly? Well, basically... you go to a nightclub, bring your wallet, keys, condoms, cigarettes, cash, and cell phone. Then, you wander around looking for a girl that you think will be an easy lay. She shouldn't be hard to find. She will be the one that speaks English well, is hugging every other expat in the place, and keeps glancing in your general direction and smiling. So, once you spot her... approach her and try to start some kind of conversation. It doesn't really matter what you say because if she likes you, you could probably go up to her in the middle of summer and be like... "Damn, I am so sick and tired of this snow! Do you want to have sex?" and she would be like, "OK sure, lets go." If she doesn't say that then either 1) she's not a slut and you are not playing a good game of "slut hunting", keep trying. 2) She's not ready yet. 3) She doesn't like you. Regardless, move on.

   So... now you found a qualifying "slut" and the conversation is moving along nicely. Good for you! Keep up the excellent work, play your cards right and you won't be alone that night. Make sure you wrap it up and no regrets it the morning!!

   It's actually very strange how easy it is to get laid here. Yes, yes, yes... I know, I know, "most Korean girl are never like that! Korean girl are normal girl! Not slut and bad girl!" However, seems there are enough sluts in Pusan to keep all the "slut hunters" happy. I have had this conversation with my friend before... it almost becomes a role - reversal over here. By this I mean... usually back home, its kind of expected for the guy to make the first move, pay for dinner, etc etc. Now I know this is the 21st century and all... but lets admit there still is a difference between the sexes. Women can usually be pickier than men can, because, let's face it... guys seem to have a more overactive sex drive. I think its some psychological thing, like men don't have a problem penetrating damn near anything, but women seem to usually want to make sure they got some halfway decent guy before they let themselves get penetrated. Usually, a guy has to work at getting laid, a women could get some by just go into a bar wearing a T-shirt that reads, "I want someone to sleep with me, first man to talk to me wins." Anyway, back to what I was saying... 

     Over here, there are so many little playgirls that are so interested in foreigners you barely have to try. Often times, they make the first move, I have had girls take me out and buy me dinner. I can afford to be picky, and there have even been days that I have said to myself (no shit)... "Hmmm I could call Sum-Young Ho and get some action tonight... but I am bored and tired and I just wanna watch TV, and maybe surf the web." My buddy and I were also talking about how I have gotten to the state that I usually don't even go on dates anymore (he's been that way for some time). Both of us just go out "slut hunting" and even if we get a phone number we usually don't call unless she is spectacular. This is because if she doesn't go home with us that night, we are wasting are time because we can find someone that will (at least we hope, heh). I don't consider myself a bad looking guy... I think I am classified as "kinda cute" at the most. I am not a big guy, and not really much more than just "cute", if that. I had a good time back home and there were a number of girls that had been in my life before coming to Korea... but since being here, Good Lord... this place is insane. Some of my all time greatest successes include an airline stewards, numerous bartenders (not the #1 variety from above, real bars), and quite recently a supposed porn star. I hope I don't sound like I am bragging, I'm not really, because I already know that this kind of thing is totally common and I am not the only expat that has found this out.

   Anyway- this all has become kind of ridiculous over time, and I think I am going to take a break from clubbing just for tonight, I made a date with a girl that seems fairly nice, so I am going to do that tonight. Oh... who the hell am I kidding, I am going to get liquored up with her... bring her out partying at all my favorite hangouts and then try and pull my same old dirty tricks. See you guys at the NBINB, actually they are calling it the "Ibiza" now, they got some party tonight. It will probably suck; it's too bad that place never draws a crowd. If and when "Ibiza" starts sucking, I'll be at the "Star."
 

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT THINK ALL KOREAN GIRLS ARE SLUTS. I hope I don't have to reiterate this again.