|
Prophetic Sweatshirt
|
August 5, 2003
|
by SJW ( Professor of all
things of questionable interest)
|
I purchased a sweatshirt in my homeland before I left for South
Korea. It was to be the new addition to my wardrobe that would
ensure I looked ultra cool as I cruised into the unknown, a
piece of clothing that would have people wishing they had my
taste and gagging not only to meet me, but BE me. Unreasonable
expectations, yes, yet, in a sense they have been exceeded.
Maybe it was the prophetic nature of the words displayed so
stylishly on its front: : "It's all those little
unspoken things....".
Unspoken things that make a place and its people unique,
intriguing, even amusing to the foreign onlooker. In South Korea
I have found such things to present themselves in
many and varied ways, the most helpful of which seems to be
an unrelenting sense of duty to ensure visitors of the geographically
clueless persuasion get from A to B unscathed. Countless times
I have asked an apparently friendly Korean for directions and
countless times been lead by the hand or guided accordingly
for
blocks, meters, on occasion kilometers - door to door service
it may hinder the pace a little if you are being guided
by a 4ft tall ajumma with 70 years of walking experience to
slow her down
but hell who wants to arrive on time to teach
20 screaming kindergarten kids?
Another of such things is the shoes too big
for feet phenomenon. Its subtle, but to the trained
eye it is evident. The most obvious indicator of the phenomenon
is the turned up shoe-toe. The turned up shoe-toe develops over
time and can be linked to the lack of human toe presence in
the end of the wearers shoe - it will inevitably result
in the wearers foot appearing elf like. I noticed the
phenomenon firstly in the shoes of the adult male Korean. We
have a saying in my place of origin, big feet, big meat.
Take that as you will but for those of you who have your minds
firmly set in the gutter, you will be the closest. If this idea
rings true in the minds of Korean men then I figure there lays
the potential reason for the wearing of shoes too big
for feet. However, whomever started the trend miscalculated
how attractive elves can be to your average female, thus rendering
the entire practice useless. As for the existence of the phenomenon
within the female population, one can do no more than speculate.
The most overt of the unspoken things I noted post arrival
is the check self out etiquette, of which there
is none. By that I mean no etiquette, no rules, no regulations.
After conducting intensive unbiased interviews with any foreigner
who happened to be drinking the same beer as me, I came to find
I am far from the only soul to have noted and enjoyed this one.
The vast majority of Koreans I have encountered by way of subway
rides and bus journeys seem to indulge in the Reckless
Use of Reflective Surfaces for Aesthetic Self-Analyses.
Indeed it is true we all do it, but most of us with some degree
of self-consciousness do it in the privacy of our own home,
or in the bathroom of wherever you may be trying to impress
someone. Not here. Any chance to catch a glimpse of yourself,
to touch up that hair, make sure youve got the Britney
bang going on, or the Kennedy comb-over smoothed nicely left
to right
or even what jaw clenching exercise most accentuates
your manliness; it's all done with a brazen disregard for what
other people think. And rightly so; everyone, men and women
alike, are seemingly too busy checking themselves out to worry
about whether the next person along is compromising their street
credibility with each and every facial contortion. Image, image,
image. I was told by someone who knows, (whether they do or
not could be a matter of contention but for the purpose of making
my point I shall quote it as a fact) : there are more non-reconstructive
plastic surgery operations performed in South Korea than anywhere
else in the world. Is it vanity or self-respect on a very high
maintenance level? Id wager the former.
Aforementioned observation in mind, it would appear that at
least one of the 7 deadly sins is overtly embraced in South
Korea, concluded on the basis that actions speak louder than
words. The second deadly sin I have been privy to is envy. It
seems common practice to be envious. I base this on words speaking
louder than actions. Thus my analyses is far from consistent.
However, in my vast experience communicating with Koreans in
the past month I have stumbled upon an incredibly common thread.
The term envy is used loosely...so loosely it should really
be classified as a common greeting, not a deadly sin. Based
on how many people have said they are envious of me, I should
have no reason to even so much as glance at myself in the subway
window. I am perfect; I am the epitome of what everyone wants
to be. No need to go out and buy a nice new sweatshirt. I am
perfect already. The color of my hair is perfect, my birthright
is perfect; my very existence is a work of perfection. Of course
I flit through my days here modestly accepting these comments...hoping
they will go to my head, only to find myself avidly seeking
my reflection in private places and buying shoes too big for
my feet.
Editorial
Policy Statement
Pusanweb
is an open forum. The views and observations of contributing writers
are their own, and in no
way represent the policies or opinions of Pusanweb management
or editorial staff
|
|
We want to hear what you think of our advertisers. For Information about
our advertising policies and rates or to offer feedback about one of our
sponsors, please visit our Sponsorship Page |