PusanWeb Writings - Essays, Fiction, and Poetry from Busan, Korea

For A. S. (aka Burns) and Down Under Melbourne

All my friends in the real world are laughing at me, but I am happy in hell with my heroin girl. -A.S.

It was a weekday. The weather was overcast as A hurriedly walked towards his neighborhood bar, The King's Head. Not much else to do on a Wednesday night. He knew he should be studying for the anthropology test, but it wasn't the type of night to be caught at home. It seemed as if now, almost every night wasn't the type of night to be studying. University had ceased to be important. A few more steps, and he would be there. I can see a slight briskness to his walk.

A pushes the door open and the music crawls outside. He walks into the familiar surroundings. A few regulars turn their heads towards the night coming in through the door. Some nod in his direction. As always, the area around the pool table is a hub of activity. A feels numb. The familiar atmosphere cloaks him with confidence as he walks to the bar. His throat dries when he sees her in the corner. She smiles her smile. How long has it been? How beautiful she still looks, not any less so than the first time he saw her. Their life together had been a whirlwind. They had been inseparable. He loved her. Now... Which way to go?

He can remember that night. Feeling restless, he went for a walk, only to be led automatically towards The King's Head. It seemed that every other night had benignly turned into every night. He was young, and his body recuperated quite well the next morning. He was doing well in his classes, keeping everybody happy. Sometimes some of his flat mates joined him, but
none was a steady drinking companion. He was alone. Nothing was expected on that night, just a good and comfortable drunk, maybe some interesting conversation.

Walking in, same motion repeated hundreds of times. Double set of swinging doors, with small circular windows revealing distorted perspective of inside. Usually the blurry image of the bar and its bright rainbow array of spirits. Immediately he noticed a creature in a short white skirt sitting alone. She would not have struck anyone has particularly beautiful, but he felt his throat constrict. After getting a beer, he went over to start conversation.

The voice captivated him, and the green eyes, the lithe waif like body with the sashay walk. Exchanging pleasantries, and then exchanging personal codes. The simple gesture of love finished quickly, but signifying much more to him and her.

The two became inseparable. Ah, but how time reveals so much about a person. The illusions shattered on the ground, but amazingly nothing is broken inside. A feels even more love and tenderness. In his car, her fiendish desire wrapping the air with night. The needle, spoon, and rubber band. The subtle smile as she slips into oblivion. He can't help think, 'Before you slip, into unconsciousness, I'd like to have another kiss.'

A wants to bring her away. A long lost and murdered hero reincarnated in a pagan. He chants his personal mantra to her, 'I love you, come away with me. I love you, come away with me. I love you, come away with me.' The shield of craving desire is impenetrable. The massadah of the street cannot be broken, A's powers of persuasion are continuously drowning. The influences of the street beckon her and his sheilding powers are not enough to prevent the
voices from reaching her finely tuned ears. The marks continue to grow and spread. Can you see them, A and her, shuffling towards an abyss, arms entwined, soul and blood mixed together. The fiend team, each succumbing together to their own desires. Loneliness has many friends.

All his friends and family know. A, how foolish and love smitten were you to introduce her at home. Everyone knows. Everyone is laughing. What a fool. They knew before you knew. The discomfort when you take her home now. The turned up noses of those who once were considered friends. When A brings her home, he watches closely, the security to her unending desires. How uncomfortable to detect a thief amongst the person you love.The innocence is soon lost with the absence of money. The maw opens itself and A has already stuck his head in many times. The spirit and bank account quickly run flat and dry. "Give me more, the demon howls." No! No! No? No? No... Trick or treat. Drive me to a trick, and then I'll get my treat. How difficult to start the car and concentrate in the night. The familiar road signs quickly pass. But A is defamiliarized. In a swoon. Nothing resembles what it did. Wait! Thirty minutes. Then drive me downtown. The recession of the gentle spirit. Rage and love wage against another. So difficult to find clarity.

Then, one day, a disappearance. Nowhere is she to be found. No contact, nothing. Searching, looking, gone. Drinking, drinking, drinking. A bender of drinking. Alone, sometimes with friends, always the same.One night A says, "X, let's go down the road for some stuff. What d'ya say mate?" A tentative question can be dangerous to certain types. The seed
impregnates and blossoms forth within an instant. Once planted, never to be uprooted. Satiation of desires is easy. Around the corner of the neighborhood the voices whisper. "You looking?" Click... Hsssss. thwack, thwack. Ahhhhh! Relax, let's take a ride. Sinking, sinking, sinking. I... just dont know... where I'm going... Nothing except sweet and wonderful
OBLIVION. Salvation has so many insidious guises.

S.J.Y