All my friends in the real world are laughing at
me, but I am happy in hell with my heroin girl.
-A.S.
It was a weekday. The weather was overcast as A hurriedly
walked towards his neighborhood bar, The King's Head.
Not much else to do on a Wednesday night. He knew he
should be studying for the anthropology test, but it
wasn't the type of night to be caught at home. It seemed
as if now, almost every night wasn't the type of night
to be studying. University had ceased to be important.
A few more steps, and he would be there. I can see a
slight briskness to his walk.
A pushes the door open and the music
crawls outside. He walks into the familiar surroundings.
A few regulars turn their heads towards the night coming
in through the door. Some nod in his direction. As always,
the area around the pool table is a hub of activity.
A feels numb. The familiar atmosphere cloaks him with
confidence as he walks to the bar. His throat dries when
he sees her in the corner. She smiles her smile. How long
has it been? How beautiful she still looks, not
any less so than the first time he saw her. Their life
together had been a whirlwind. They had been inseparable.
He loved her. Now... Which way to go?
He can remember that night. Feeling
restless, he went for a walk, only to be led automatically
towards The King's Head. It seemed that every other night
had benignly turned into every night. He was young, and
his body recuperated quite well the next morning. He was
doing well in his classes, keeping everybody happy. Sometimes
some of his flat mates joined him, but
none was a steady drinking companion. He was alone. Nothing
was expected on that night, just a good and comfortable
drunk, maybe some interesting conversation.
Walking in, same motion repeated
hundreds of times. Double set of swinging doors, with
small circular windows revealing distorted perspective
of inside. Usually the blurry image of the bar and its
bright rainbow array of spirits. Immediately he noticed
a creature in a short white skirt sitting alone. She would
not have struck anyone has particularly beautiful, but
he felt his throat constrict. After getting a beer, he
went over to start conversation.
The voice captivated him, and the
green eyes, the lithe waif like body with the sashay walk.
Exchanging pleasantries, and then exchanging personal
codes. The simple gesture of love finished quickly, but
signifying much more to him and her.
The two became inseparable. Ah, but
how time reveals so much about a person. The illusions
shattered on the ground, but amazingly nothing is broken
inside. A feels even more love and tenderness. In
his car, her fiendish desire wrapping the air with night.
The needle, spoon, and rubber band. The subtle smile as
she slips into oblivion. He can't help think, 'Before
you slip, into unconsciousness, I'd like to have another
kiss.'
A wants to bring her away. A long
lost and murdered hero reincarnated in a pagan. He chants
his personal mantra to her, 'I love you, come away with
me. I love you, come away with me. I love you, come away
with me.' The shield of craving desire is impenetrable.
The massadah of the street cannot be broken, A's
powers of persuasion are continuously drowning. The influences
of the street beckon her and his sheilding powers are
not enough to prevent the
voices from reaching her finely tuned ears. The marks
continue to grow and spread. Can you see them, A and her,
shuffling towards an abyss, arms entwined, soul and blood
mixed together. The fiend team, each succumbing
together to their own desires. Loneliness has many friends.
All his friends and family know.
A, how foolish and love smitten were you to introduce
her at home. Everyone knows. Everyone is laughing. What
a fool. They knew before you knew. The discomfort when
you take her home now. The turned up noses of those who
once were considered friends. When A brings her home,
he watches closely, the security to her unending desires.
How uncomfortable to detect a thief amongst the person
you love.The innocence is soon lost with the absence of
money. The maw opens itself and A has already stuck his
head in many times. The spirit and bank account quickly
run flat and dry. "Give me more, the demon howls." No!
No! No? No? No... Trick or treat. Drive me to a trick,
and then I'll get my treat. How difficult to start the
car and concentrate in the night. The familiar road signs
quickly pass. But A is defamiliarized. In a swoon. Nothing
resembles what it did. Wait! Thirty minutes. Then drive
me downtown. The recession of the gentle spirit. Rage
and love wage against another. So difficult to find clarity.
Then, one day, a disappearance. Nowhere
is she to be found. No contact, nothing. Searching, looking,
gone. Drinking, drinking, drinking. A bender of drinking.
Alone, sometimes with friends, always the same.One night
A says, "X, let's go down the road for some stuff. What
d'ya say mate?" A tentative question can be dangerous
to certain types. The seed
impregnates and blossoms forth within an instant.
Once planted, never to be uprooted. Satiation of desires
is easy. Around the corner of the neighborhood the voices
whisper. "You looking?" Click... Hsssss. thwack, thwack.
Ahhhhh! Relax, let's take a ride. Sinking, sinking, sinking.
I... just dont know... where I'm going... Nothing except
sweet and wonderful
OBLIVION. Salvation has so many insidious guises.
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