Dear reader,

I apologize beforehand for the title which appears to be so blatantly 
paradoxical in nature. You question the validity of its truth, but ah, I 
have tickled your interest. A trick, a hook, a con, a pull, whatever you 
call it, it is done. Please read on! This is my treatise on personal 
relationships formulated on, as we all agree and know, is the most logical 
and correct school of philosophical thought, inductive reasoning. If I may 
be so bold, I would like to call it a guide for contrived opposite sex 
happiness. Is happiness between sexes possible? I believe so. The subject is 
not intended to offend, and my hope is that truths may be garnered or at 
least recognized as such. I have tried to be as subjective as possible in 
order to reach the broadest reading base. This treatise based on my 
subjectivism is by nature meta-morphological and will surely change as the 
Sun revolves around the earth. Hear are some guidelines I stumbled into 
while chasing a stray sheep of a thought into a black and dead cave in my 
mind.

Note: I have also factored in, for you loyal students of the deductive 
faction, the tales and experiences I and have seen, heard, asked, been told 
by others, inducing me to say 'voila'.

I humbly present, in the tradition of Pweb's top ten lists

Ten Commandments for Women
1. Stay beautiful. There is nothing worse than losing your wonderful figure 
for a few cheap hamburgers, pig's blood sausage, pizza, steak, fish balls, 
rice cake, etc.
2. Learn how to be a woman. This entails dressing like one, as well as 
acting like one. A womanly woman makes a man feel like a manly man.
3. Take cooking classes. A way to a man's heart is truly through his 
stomach. See the smile spread as he walks into the door from a hard day's 
work and sees a spread fit for a king on the in front of the television, 
living room, minuscule, dwarfish table with three quarters of the legs cut 
off. It's like stepping back into a sixties, seventies, and maybe early 
eighties drama. This will be highly inducive to at least bi-weekly, and 
additional weekend dinners out. Excluding hang-over morning spreads from the 
local kitchen/restaurant.
4. Be a drama queen. Every now and then show signs of jealously. Show that 
you do really care. Throw fits when deemed appropriate. The roller coaster ride 
which is called a relationship.
5. The art of crying. Practice the ability to have tears welling in eyes on 
command. Most men are suckers for tears.
6. Be an angel, but also devilishly cute. Show signs of weakness to usher 
forth the masculine desires of man. Every man wants to be a knight. Eighties 
adolescent. Peter Cetera and the Karate Kid. "I am a man who will fight for 
your honor....."
7. Obey the man's commands. Only when man feels threatened does he become 
difficult. Thus for certain things, listen, no matter how foolish. Tell him 
how smart and intelligent he is on all subject matters concerning anything 
and everything, when in fact, you are quite his peer intellectually, if not 
on a higher plane. A little ooo's and ahhhh's are easy to do through his 
ranting and raving, when in fact, in your own brain, you're thinking of a 
proof and refutation of Hawking's mathematical equation of God while 
factoring in sociological-cultural-economical-historical-political-demographical-
geological-  climatological-ecological-anthropological-meterological-educational 
influences, and not excluding but factoring in secretions and functions of the
different lobes  of the brain.  Nod every now and then, and go "Um hmm!" 
Tell the man how  wonderful he looks and how majestic he is. Men enjoy ego 
stroking too, no matter how ludicrous. Ego stroking ergo happy man. Exaggeration
is a good opportunity to pull the wool over a bahh bahh bahh sheep's eyes. Everything 
bigger is better. Look at that Tico. It's soooo big! Nah baby! It's a Cadillac.
8. Be innocent of all extracurricular activities. What you don't know will 
slide right off of you. Besides, this leaves time for some of your own 
extracurricular activities.
9. Sex! Sex! Sex! In all its shapes and forms, however bent.
10. Fellatio on command. The hardest addiction to break since cigarettes.
 
 

Ten Commandments for Men
1. Always have ten thousand note stuffed wallet on hand. Entails earning a 
decent salary. Work alone and play together.
2. Have own pad. Notice the gradual move-in? Toothbrush here, bag of 
cosmetics there. All of a sudden its turned into an two ninety liter 
immigration bags in the spare bedroom of the apartment furnished by your 
institute, ministry, company, corporation, labor authority, etc.  Interior 
decor takes a womanly turn. Kind of like home.
3. Owning vehicle is a definite bonus! If not, taxis for daily use, and 
rentals for weekend jaunts. Of course, this entails owning a wallet.
4. Actors always do well. Jump into the role of marital, responsible, happy, 
free love living. Think of it as a 101 course on how married life will be in 
the future.
5. Ask about family and friends. Inquire into family affairs, and if 
possible spend some good in-law-like time together with her siblings.
6. Listen with compassionate ear and expression on how really desperate and 
despondent her life is. Get really angry when you hear some of the crazy 
shit she has borne and suffered. Suffer her burdens to be unburdened onto 
you.
7. Gifts, unexpected or expected. Can be trinkets brought from vendors on 
the street to designer clothes from over-priced corporate department stores, 
depending on the size and thickness of your wallet. A way to a woman's heart 
on those cold nights. As Moses struck the Dead Sea with his staff, the path 
for your staff, for what you may have thought lifeless, may soon be parted.
8. Show her a good time. Introduce her to friends who she thinks are neat 
and cool. Hang out, dance, party.
9. Be a good listener. Not about everyday life, but about orgasmic things. 
Ask and learn, young Skywalker. Your saber, whether it be blue, red, orange, green, 
yellow, long, short, thin, thick, can do wonders with only a little coaching. It's not
the size that counts, it's the motion... Anyways, a little Q&A never hurt anyone, 
except maybe your ego when her fantasies are exponentially more bent. 
Objectively, were they? Subjectively definitely. 
Why can't women have nasty fantasies?
10. Don't ask questions. When she gets on top to get off for the first time 
since you met her, this being a long later, don't ask her where she learned 
to do THAT! You can't handle the truth.