Getting Trolled by Korean Food Part the first

Nationwide :

 

There’s another American in Busan who’s as adventurous as myself when it comes to food. He’s a real whore for sushi and a Japanophile, so when he told me he’d had his first hwe experience, I knew I was in for a laugh. He described it as such:

 

There’s another American in Busan who’s as adventurous as myself when it comes to food. He’s a real whore for sushi and a Japanophile, so when he told me he’d had his first hwe experience, I knew I was in for a laugh. He described it as such:

“They have this big water tub of dilluted red sauce that you can ‘add’ when the dish itself already has melting ice cubes on the bottom, making it swampier than my swamp ass. So the ice melts and it basically turns into this gloopy glop of veggies runny red sauce and nasty raw fish. Sashimi shouldn’t be crunchy. Definitely my worst Korean dining experience yet.”

Even if you’re the luckiest guy in the world, if you want to stay adventurous in Korean restaurants, you’re going to get sodomized eventually. I’ve had a lot of great meals here but some of my worst luck has come from the bakeries.

Last week I wanted something sweet after dinner, so I found a nice looking bakery to get myself something. It wasn’t one of the big chains, which I no longer trust after finding ham and American cheese in something they labeled as a ‘mini-danish’. From this place I got a “Glutinous rice stick”, because it looked like a chewy Twinkie, except with less girth [remember to write a penis joke].

First bite: Alright, I can roll with this. It’s gooey like mochi, definitely pounded rice. The outside is kind of oily but whatever I’ve had Chinese pastries like that.

Second bite: Whoa, a cream cheese surprise. The flavor mixes well because of the oily outside- plain sweetness wouldn’t be right. The cheesiness of the cream cheese gives it a more complex taste. It could be worse, considering how often I’ve found processed cheese in places it doesn’t belong.

Third bite:

“Wha-who the fuck??? PEAS! FUCKING PEAS! Peas inside my Asian Twinkie!” Who decided that that would compliment cream cheese? Or anything, for that matter. I wasn’t even revolted because hey, they were pretty good peas, I just laughed it off and said Fuck this country. Bakeries are not the best place to branch out in Korea.

There were exactly three peas in my twinkie.

 

p.s.

These delicious looking things? They suck.



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