I Am a Fat Expat. Hear Me Chew.

Busan :

Where a torn hoodie, faded jeans, massive white tennis shoes, and barely brushed hair still manages to elicit compliments, why bother?

I did my hair last week for a birthday party. This was boring; I don’t intend on making a habit of it. One of my coworkers, who I have known for about a year and a half, remarked that when he knew me last year, I always looked nice like this. What happened? "Oh, I just stopped trying", I responded. He was perplexed, not quite understanding what I meant by that. Further explanation was required.


Where a torn hoodie, faded jeans, massive white tennis shoes, and barely brushed hair still manages to elicit compliments, why bother?

I did my hair last week for a birthday party. This was boring; I don’t intend on making a habit of it. One of my coworkers, who I have known for about a year and a half, remarked that when he knew me last year, I always looked nice like this. What happened? "Oh, I just stopped trying", I responded. He was perplexed, not quite understanding what I meant by that. Further explanation was required.

There is stereotype about female expats in Korea that you seen floating around the Internet and uttered in corners of drinking holes, by people that I couldn’t possibly want to have less sex with. If it is to be believed, it follows that female expats tend to be fat, loud, opinionated, ugly, bitches who are completely unmarriable. Obviously this last bit is the most damning of all insults, since the entire raison d’etre for any woman is to find a handsome man to marry and produce babies with. The richer the better. Working is for ugly chicks! Oh, fucknuts.

"You stopped trying what?", my perplexed coworker wanted to know. Wasn’t it obvious? "You see", I explained, "today, I decided to brush my hair and wear blush. Last year, I did this every day. At the moment, I can’t be fucking bothered. I’ll brush my hair again when I go home".

There was a point sometime during my first contract where I realized that, within reason, it didn’t really matter what I did. I could wake up half an hour earlier to straighten my hair and put on my best outfit, or I could pin my hair back messily and wear an unflattering sweater with slacks. As long as I showed up to class on time and brought the correct book, nobody cared.

"What about meeting guys?" my now less slightly less perplexed coworker wanted to know. I laughed at this for what I considered an appropriate period of time and started up again: "Well, Brad, I’ve done the expat ‘dating’ scene thing. Been there, done that, got bored. And I’m so negative about Korea lately that I have little interest in learning the language any more than I have to at this point; a failing attitude for breaking into the Korean dating pool, if there ever was one".

My coworker was going to break into a tirade about how the problem with female expats is that they don’t get enough sex, but them he remembered that he is intelligent and doesn’t actually have thoughts like this. The conversation moved to food soon after. This was excellent, since we were at a buffet and there was a lot of food to talk about.



4 thoughts on “I Am a Fat Expat. Hear Me Chew.”

  1. You think guys stand in the
    You think guys stand in the corners of bars and rate women on their marriagability? As in, “Hey Bob, check out that one. I wouldn’t marry her if my life depended on it.”

    Sure. Whatever.

    Reply
  2. Why have you given up?
    “it follows that female expats tend to be fat, loud, opinionated, ugly, bitches who are completely unmarriable.”

    What are you trying to prove here? You’re only reinforcing the stereotype.

    “Oh, I just stopped trying.”

    Why have you given up? This only reinforces the lazy expat stereotype. You mentioned many expat women are fat. In Korea, being fat is associated with being lazy.

    “…by people that I couldn’t possibly want to have less sex with”

    And how do you know this?

    “the entire raison d’etre for any woman is to find a handsome man to marry and produce babies with. The richer the better. Working is for ugly chicks!”

    Not entirely true. Though I have met the desperate Korean women in their mid 30s to early 40s, I have also have met some that could possibly care less about marrying. Many of these women are drop dead gorgeous, but have decided to focus on their careers.

    “I’ve done the expat ‘dating’ scene thing. Been there, done that, got bored. And I’m so negative about Korea lately that I have little interest in learning the language any more than I have to at this point; a failing attitude for breaking into the Korean dating pool, if there ever was one.”

    Meeting expats in bars is never a good idea. Most of the drinkers are only here for a year and are here essentially to relive their college days. I know several expats that have been here for several years, have married other expats or Koreans and have had a wonderful life. You may want to try meeting expats/Koreans through one of those Korean adventure clubs or at church. The bottom line is that your attitude will need to change if you’re going to meet someone.

    Reply
    •  I hadn’t noticed there were

       I hadn’t noticed there were comments here before. Slow. What a delightful 3am find!

      This particular post, while not intended to be deep or really terribly good at all, was somehow comically misunderstood. Literal interpretation? I’ll ignore the comment that came from somebody who clearly didn’t read the post  and focus on the understandably misdirected one (sinfonian).

      I was not actually searching for advice on how to meet men here, but hey, thanks for that. You never know, I could have been. I’ll be sure to keep it in mind for that precise moment after never when I’m being serious. I also wasn’t stereotyping Korean women – just women in general. The entire post was a farce. Perhaps not one that you enjoyed, but a farce, nonetheless. Given that you took the time to cut it up and post a serious response, I probably owe you an apology. Sorry about that.

      Reply
      • Well sorry for bringing an

        This is now the second post I am reading from you, "Barbie", and I am not very surprised to learn that you are fat and probably ugly (following your own words). Bottom of the line, you are something I will not name because otherwise this post would be moderated! I’m still trying to figure out why the low quality language you are using has not been already moderated. But what I am sure is that you are using such a language probably because of your rock bottom low self-esteem! I can’t even believe you must be teaching children!

        You have been living in Korea for what? a year? more? or should I say for what purpose? Blaming your pityful existence on an internet forum? From what I picked up you can’t even read basic Korean characters? Ah come on, that is impressively pathetic! And then you complain about other people calling fat women "lazy"? You are more than the perfect stereotype. Hey, drop the forum complaining kind of habit and go exercise!

        You obviously have so many misconceptions about Korea that it is seriously frustrating! Hey, you have what, 3 friends, or people you "know" in here? Don’t make judgments or retarded comments about Korea or its people because really the only thing you are showing is just how you really are (again I will not express it with words otherwise I will be moderated).

        Just go back to your own country and buy yourself a life!

         

        Reply

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